Ok.
I think I was just a little off, maybe due to the fact that I ran out of birth control pills (I think I may have mentioned that) a while back and hadn't made it to go get more, and got just a little emotionally fragile for a minute.
Now I am onto my next project: raising money for the school garden. I am writing a letter to the president of the local nursery asking them to consider donating the soil, which is the most expensive part. I have never done such a thing and I'm a little nervous! I am definitely afraid of rejection in any way, shape or form. It's a pretty good letter though and it made me use my brain for a second, which is good. I think that's why this blogging thing is good for me. Blogs are funny; I wonder how many are out there that never are read by anyone. Like mine, more of an online journal that other people could read if they were so inclined, but does anyone read most of them? In the age of fb and Insta, the prospect of sharing our lives is irresistible; we let others know what we're up to at every opportunity. I'm guilty, don't get me wrong... I will post a picture of the most inane thing that no one would have any reason to care about. My guinea pigs, really? But I must, we must. Because we have this need to let other people know what on earth we're up to at any given moment. God bless our vulnerable, needy culture who loves to flash but behind closed doors is falling to pieces.
Another ski trip to Utah in a couple of days. I almost bailed, feeling so overwhelmed and the prospect of another trip was sending me into a tailspin... but decided that not going felt even worse. It will be my only chance to ski with fh this year and my last to ski with C, plus fh's daughter is coming and we will get to all spend some time together, which is rare. So I am going to tough it out and then take it easy for a while. Yeah yeah, taking ski vacations is really having to "tough it out," I know, I know... but for someone who can barely get unpacked before having to pack again, staying home is pretty attractive. I didn't even mention the two trips to Mexico that took place in the two weeks (yes, two trips in two weeks) before I began the blog. I'm not kidding-- it's constant. You'll see.
Making fun progress on bridal shower-- feeling better about it, things are coming together! It will be a fun time, plus my girl that I'm doing it all for is so worth it and I want her to be happy! ...and hosting in our new incredible new home that we love so much is always pretty cool.
I think the funk has just about passed.... whew!!
Thursday, March 7, 2013
Back in the saddle
"Normal life." It's what I crave, what I fear, what I can't even imagine, what I hope I will one day be able to call mine.
After a spectacular weekend in LA with the love of my life and one of my best, best, best friends, having a blast and feeling like a VIP all weekend, it's back to reality (not to mention being 40, which I'm still trying to wrap my head around).
Yesterday I had a bit of a meltdown with so much to do and feeling like I can't seem to make a dent in the pile of projects awaiting me. The dear friend mentioned before is getting married next month and I am hosting her bridal shower. I know nothing of how to do this kind of stuff. I have enlisted the help of another dear friend and hopefully we will muddle through and it will be beautiful and special. Food, decorations... umm, what else is there? Champagne! I need to get champagne. And glasses. Painting picture frames, painting tree branches, I am no Martha Stewart-- the laundry, how does it pile up so fast?! there is red wine on fh's shirt, he will ask me if I got it out and I will have to tell him I haven't even glanced at it-- there is dry cleaning to be dropped off, my son peed the bed and I can't seem to get rid of the smell, I am five days behind on my birth control pills-- have to make sure fh knows that-- I haven't even unpacked from LA yet and I have yet to pack for our next trip, we leave in three days and there is wedding planning coming at me from all sides and the house, the house, the house is always demanding my attention, there are things to order, pick up, deliveries to sign for, people to meet, people to call, checks to write, emails to return and ohhhh help me the packing and unpacking, the laundry, the school garden, the hummingbird feeders are empty, the broken vacuum-- s***-- I still have to pick up my maid of honor dress, it rained and the guinea pigs' cage needs changed, oh! I am driving for the school field trip today! Can't forget that!!.... and who has time to take a frickin' shower, let alone get to the gym... and this is excluding the most important job of BEING A GOOD MOMMY... until my head is spinning and I freeze and crash-- yesterday I slept for almost five hours during the day. Was falling asleep at the wheel around 10:30 am (is that normal?!) so lay down when I got home at 11 and was asleep immediately. Woke up for an appointment here at the house at 12:30, afterward went immediately back to sleep for three full hours. What is my body trying to tell me?
The irony is, I don't work outside the home. When people ask, "What do you do?" (I have come to loathe that question), I feel like spouting off the myriad of tasks that face me every single day until they wish they'd never asked. Instead my answer "Oh, I'm a mom, um, I take care of the house, we travel a lot" comes out making me feel like I sound like a lazy, spoiled housewife who lounges around eating bonbons and shopping online.
So... right now this writing is a form of procrastination. The second I close this window I will have all of those things to face and more. I need a shower but changing the guinea pigs' cage will leave me filthy so may as well wait until that is done. Is this a normal life?
After a spectacular weekend in LA with the love of my life and one of my best, best, best friends, having a blast and feeling like a VIP all weekend, it's back to reality (not to mention being 40, which I'm still trying to wrap my head around).
Yesterday I had a bit of a meltdown with so much to do and feeling like I can't seem to make a dent in the pile of projects awaiting me. The dear friend mentioned before is getting married next month and I am hosting her bridal shower. I know nothing of how to do this kind of stuff. I have enlisted the help of another dear friend and hopefully we will muddle through and it will be beautiful and special. Food, decorations... umm, what else is there? Champagne! I need to get champagne. And glasses. Painting picture frames, painting tree branches, I am no Martha Stewart-- the laundry, how does it pile up so fast?! there is red wine on fh's shirt, he will ask me if I got it out and I will have to tell him I haven't even glanced at it-- there is dry cleaning to be dropped off, my son peed the bed and I can't seem to get rid of the smell, I am five days behind on my birth control pills-- have to make sure fh knows that-- I haven't even unpacked from LA yet and I have yet to pack for our next trip, we leave in three days and there is wedding planning coming at me from all sides and the house, the house, the house is always demanding my attention, there are things to order, pick up, deliveries to sign for, people to meet, people to call, checks to write, emails to return and ohhhh help me the packing and unpacking, the laundry, the school garden, the hummingbird feeders are empty, the broken vacuum-- s***-- I still have to pick up my maid of honor dress, it rained and the guinea pigs' cage needs changed, oh! I am driving for the school field trip today! Can't forget that!!.... and who has time to take a frickin' shower, let alone get to the gym... and this is excluding the most important job of BEING A GOOD MOMMY... until my head is spinning and I freeze and crash-- yesterday I slept for almost five hours during the day. Was falling asleep at the wheel around 10:30 am (is that normal?!) so lay down when I got home at 11 and was asleep immediately. Woke up for an appointment here at the house at 12:30, afterward went immediately back to sleep for three full hours. What is my body trying to tell me?
The irony is, I don't work outside the home. When people ask, "What do you do?" (I have come to loathe that question), I feel like spouting off the myriad of tasks that face me every single day until they wish they'd never asked. Instead my answer "Oh, I'm a mom, um, I take care of the house, we travel a lot" comes out making me feel like I sound like a lazy, spoiled housewife who lounges around eating bonbons and shopping online.
So... right now this writing is a form of procrastination. The second I close this window I will have all of those things to face and more. I need a shower but changing the guinea pigs' cage will leave me filthy so may as well wait until that is done. Is this a normal life?
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